It's not you; it's me. - 2005-02-08 2:50 a.m.

Dear Diaryland:

I am leaving you. We've had great years together, but it's time to move on. You'll always have a special place in my heart. It's not you; it's me.

You're invited to continue viewing my exploits at http://www.livejournal.com/users/lightcommastix.

Take care of yourself,
Amanda

She's in fashion, ooh, ooh, oooohhh. - 2005-02-07 1:03 a.m.

I bought a new CD through eBay (Suede's Singles album if you're curious) and since it's the spiffy Asian Edition, it came with a bonus DVD of the band performing in Thailand or somewhere. You'd think if the audience enjoyed the band and their music (which they obviously do; they bought tickets) they'd be all jumping around and saying "Woo! Yay! I want to have 10,000 of your babies! Kanichiwa!" (wait that's Japanese, and not relevant to a concert anyway.) I know I'd be making a dancing fool of myself and showcasing my tone-deaf-ness. But no, they're just sitting quietly in their seats. A few of the more rambunctuous concert-goers go so far as to slightly sway back and forth in their seats, and a couple in the back and clapping their hands to the beat. Those crazy Thai, what with their honor and not speaking aloud and showing respect and whatnot. The Asians: Do I love them or hate them?

ETA: OK, now on the DVD there's a song where the band encourages the audience to sing along with the chorus. You haven't lived till you've seen 1,000 Asian teenagers cautiously whisper "Ooh, ooh, ooooohhh."

I'd exhume a dead body for you, Valentine. - 2005-02-06 2:33 a.m.

LOST-centic VD cards!

"I'd betray my country and shoot myself in the leg for you!" (Sayid)
"Can you keep a secret?" *open card* "I love you." (Locke)
"You know, I tend to kill the men I love..." (Kate)
"I'm on a new drug..." *open card* "...You!" (Charlie)
"I'll stand by you forever..." *open card* "...If by forever, you mean six months." (Thomas, Claire's babydaddy)
"I'm praying you'll be my Valentine!" (Rose)
"Can I crash with you?" (Anyone)
"If I was on a deserted island, I'd want it to be with you." (Anyone)
"Dear diary...I love you!" (Claire)
"You're a monster of a lover!" (Still photo of trees falling in the jungle...)
"Bang, bang, you've shot me in the heart!" (Kate)
"You're like a brother to me." (Shannon/Boone)
"Love you like a sister!" (Shannon/Boone)
"I'll drink to you, Valentine!" (Jack's Dad)
"I see a great Valentine's Day in your future!" (Creepy Psychic)
"I read in your diary that you love me!" (Charlie)
"'You All Everybody' have a rockin' Valentine's Day!" (group shot of DriveShaft)
"I'd exhume a dead body for you." (Jack)
"I love you more than peanut butter." (Charlie/Claire)
"Wanna play doctor?" (Jack)
"I'm sad and pensive without you." (Kate)
"Be mine, Valentine, or I will KILL ONE OF THEM!" (Ethan)
"Happy Valentine's Day...Dude." (Hurley)
"I'd kill for your love." (Jin, Kate, possibly Sawyer)
"I could never forget a valentine like you!" (Claire, spoiler for next episode)
"You're so nice to talk to!" (Rousseau...cause remember, she had no one to talk to in 16 years...)
"It's more than Puppy Love, valentine!" (Vincent)
I'm Scott, he's Steve...either way, we love you!"
"Whether they're full of bees or C's, I love you." (Charlie)

Also, am watching Hulk (terrible movie), and there's Jin!. He's giving a message to the general guy. In English! Ack!

Well fuck me Sideways... - 2005-02-04 11:42 p.m.

Geezl peet, I've had horrible taste in films today.

Went to see Sideways this evening, which I've heard nothing but wonderful things about. Have you ever had a really awkward conversation? This movie was just like that, except two hours long. Oh, and lots of talk about wine-making. I kept expecting this major revelation comparing Paul Giamatti's life to the making of wine, but it just never came.

When I came home, I flipped on the ol' tube (even though LOST and Adult Swim aren't on tonight). A Knight's Tale was just starting on TBS, so I vegged out, just to see how craptacular the flick would be. And don't you know, I enjoyed it. Accuracy and realism were sacrificed to hip-up the dialogue and art direction for young people, but I think that's why it was appealling. I am a young person, after all.

Go die people for Kate - 2005-02-04 12:49 a.m.

OK, so the promo for next week's LOST episode (#15) features an occupied bodybag. But who's body? Have sneaked peeks at the promotional pictures for episodes #16, 17, and 18, and all major 14 characters are preset and accounted for (including Claire's pregnant belly!) Which leads us to believe the bodybag contains Ethan, Vincent, or a redshirt (Rose, Scott & Steve count as redshirts). Assuming the producers haven't posted fake photos online...

Also concluding from the pics:

Michael, Sayid, Shannon, possibly others construct a raft. Said raft is burnt to the ground and an angry mob corners Jin. Sun confronts angry mob, I'm guessing in English.

Sayid and Shannon do much more flirting.

Back on the mainland, Hurley worked at a chicken fast-food joint.

Locke breaks out his carpentry skills and builds something suspiciously cradle-like, with a still-pregnant Claire sitting nearby.

Sayid and Shannon really flirt. I'm not kidding, look at this one.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Kate? She was such a dynamic character during the first few episodes, but has lost steam and is now clogging up space on my screen. Go die people for Kate!

A Day In The Life Of Kate
- Wake Up
- Walk to beach; look sad
- Hang around Sawyer and/or Jack so they can ogle me
- Pretend to be mad after being ogled
- Reflect on the man I loved/killed
- Hear someone's going on a trek to look for something; insist I accompany them
- Walk back to beach; look pensive
- Take off shirt/pants in front of Jack/Sawyer
- Hear someone's building something; insist I help them
- Join a group conversation; ignore everyone but Jack
- Back to beach before bedtime; look sad AND pensive

ETA: Speculation on Tom Cruise's evil cousin!

OK, Ethan Rom. E.Rom. 'More' backwards. Reference to Sir Thomas More? Yet another Utopian philospher (in fact, THE Utopian philosopher.) Is this another connection, or am I grasping at straws? Tell me if you think it's bullshit or no. Added later: Claire was also abandoned by her babydaddy, Thomas. Thomas and Backwards More, the men who screwed her over!

Ethan Rom is an anagram for other man. Significant? Prolly not, unless Ethan is one of "the Others" Rousseau spoke of? I like meat horn, but doubt it's significant. But near moth? Watch out, Charlie! And more than. More than human? More than meets the eye? (Ethan's a Transformer! *singing theme song..."Transformers, more than meets the eye."*) It also spells out another (with an extra m) which is exactly who the psychic said the baby shouldn't be raised by!!

Have been racking brain for the Ethan Frome connection, but can't find it - unless he and his wife's cousin are tragically maimed in a sledding accident.

Or is ROM important here, as in the computer term (Read Only Memory)? Maybe he's programmed to do something (like steal children) and can't be changed?

I still don't understand how one man can kidnap a very pregnant girl and grown hobbit all by himself. (Locke would have noticed another set of tracks.) Then, he manages to string the grown hobbit up in a tree without the very pregnant girl escaping. Then, after accomplishing all that, the now dazed very pregnant girl is somehow able to escape from his cluthes over a week later. Something doesn't add up.

Not related - am watching Kill Bill: Vol. 1 for the 209384209384 time, and Lucy Lui is still so. Fucking. Fantastic. Beautiful yet deadly, and a bitch to boot. I've had a psuedo-gay crush on her for years. Gogo's great, too. God. I wish I was Asian.

Uhaul, Everybody! - 2005-02-03 2:21 p.m.

Dom's recording a DriveShaft album? Possibly!

From ContactMusic.com

LORD OF THE RINGS star DOMINIC MONAGHAN is set to taste rock success after the fans of his fictitious group in hit US TV drama LOST demanded more.

The British actor's drug-addled character CHARLIE plays bass for rock group DRIVE SHAFT in the show and the faux musicians have proved so popular with viewers, Lost bosses are considering releasing an album.

The made-up group have already shot a video of the hit they play in flashback scenes on the show, YOU ALL EVERYBODY, and they even have a fake fansite, DRIVESHAFTBAND.COM.

From TVGuide.com

For a band that doesn't really exist, Drive Shaft sure is getting a lot of exposure.

The fictional rock group of Lost castaway Charlie (played by Dominic Monaghan) was featured in a flashback episode in the fall, and the band's single "You All Everybody" was recently heard blasting from Sydney's stereo on Alias, another ABC Wednesday-night show.

There's a music video at www.abc.com, and even a faux fan website, www.driveshaftband.com, complete with bios, photos, a discography and dedications to its missing bassist. "We've been talking about putting out an official album," says Lost executive producer Bryan Burk.

Groupies can catch the band again in Lost's Charlie-centric installment next Wednesday at 8 pm/ET. "As long as Lost is alive, so is Drive Shaft," Burk promises. Rock on.

Woot! Just hope Dom doesn't become a real one hit wonder. Can you imagine? Having to do ad jingles to get by?

"Uhaul, everybody! Uhaul, everybody!" Teehee.

Also! If you, like many of us, subscribe to Rolling Stone, you were already surprised with a gift of Dom in your mailbox. If not, you can read the online verision here. Need a teaser? Sure.

Monaghan lost his virginity at age fourteen: "It was very disappointing, almost forgettable. I remember having to sit down a couple of years later and say, 'Who did I lose my virginity to?' In hindsight, it screwed up some of my attitudes about sex. I would like to go back and make it about exploring an amazing new adventure instead of getting it over with."

Tom Cruise's Creepier Cousin Kidnapped Claire! - 2005-02-01 2:06 a.m.

Wow.

Apparently, pre-LOST, Evie did ads for a phone-sex line. Click here if you don't believe me. Perhaps she was 'Helen', recipient of Locke's admiration?

Also, remember the creepy psychic who sent Claire on the plane trip to hell? Yeah, the actor's a former member of 70's band Foghat. Weird. I'm not familiar with their catalog; do they have any tracks about satantic fetuses?

The actor who plays Ethan? Tom Cruise's cousin (and Louisville native!) William Mapother. Assholeishness must run in the family. I watching crap on television at 3 in the morning, and accidentally saw him in an episode of SVU. He hung himself in the end, which I found hilarious. What goes around come around - you attempt to hang my hobbit to death but YOU die by the noose! Take that.

Ian did Target ads? Guess so. Click here.

I do love it when my fandom gets outside work.

Light Comma Sticks - 2005-01-29 11:31 p.m.

Can't sleep, bored, more LOST-related crap.

I wonder what the title of DriveShaft's first post-rescue album will be?

- Always Fly Business Class
- I Would Die For You...Wait, I DID Die For You
- See, The French Really Are Crazy
- You Hit Like A Ponce
- I Love You And Your Demon Baby

Which LOST post-rescue spinoff would you be most likely to watch?

- DriveShaft: The Series - Charlie's prequel, documenting the band's rise and fall.
- Jail House Diaries - After the rescue, Kate and Sawyer are arrested for outstanding warrants, with unheard of new coed accomodations. Will they have a throwdown or do the horizontal mamba?
- Demon Spawn - On the surface they look like your typical suburban family, however they’re anything but. Claire and her new husband Charlie struggle to keep their other-worldly toddler in check.
- Wedded Bliss - An inside look at Shannon and Boone's return to the family's corporate matrimony empire and their swanky lifestyles.
- Hungry, Hungry Hurley - Everyone's biggest friend shows us how to create delicious meals using boar, rats and tropical fruits.
- Korean Maf-I-A - A gritty look at Jin and Sun's 'family business'.
- Dr. Jack Shepard joins the cast of Scrubs!

You're in Sawyer's shoes, and can steal one item without being noticed. What do you pick?

- Kate's stupid toy airplane
- Charlie's heroin
- Locke's 300 knives
- Shannon's beauty products.
- Hurley's golf clubs
- Sun's magical healing herbs
- Jin's fishing equipment
- Sayid's mad technical equipment
- Walt's dog
- Jack's antibiotics
- Claire's pen and paper

ALSO!

If you played our drinking game Wednesday night, you would have ended up taking 22 shots. Damn. Good thing Shirebourn and I just used fruit juice. We also added a new rule.

Everytime a non-English language is first spoken in the episode, DRINK! (So far we've had French, Spanish, German, Korean, and Arabic.)

I Heart Vincent - 2005-01-26 12:08 a.m.

Snagged this from Samantha, who I haven't spoken to in probably years but still check in on via the internet. It's interactive. And I like movies.

1. Pick one dozen movies that are ones that you have special feelings about.
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue.
3. As people guess the film in your guestbook, strike out that entry.
4. If possible, after the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.

1. It happens every time. They all become blueberries.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Shirebourn

2. Conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated.

3. The journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we must all take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass - and then you see it. White shores and beyond, the far green country under a swift sunrise.
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Shirebourn

4. I don't like this ending.
Moulin Rouge, Shirebourn

5. Me, I didn't mean anything. About anything, to anyone. And I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.

6. Those of you lucky enough to have your lives take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.
Kill Bill: Volume One, Shirebourn

7. Curse my metal body!
Star Wars, RHITPlayboy

8. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down.
Garden State, RHITPlayboy

9. Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shirebourn

10. I found you in Hell. Don't you think I could find you in Jersey?
What Dreams May Come, Sil

11. It was great. She showed me all the wallpaper and where everything is going to go. And then she brought me in the back room where she took all her clothes off.
Edward Scissorhands, Shirebourn

12. The sea monkeys have my money!
Finding Nemo, Shirebourn

ALSO!

Just in time for tonight's rerun, I introduce Amanda's patented LOST Drinking Game! Because really, alcohol is the only thing that'll help us make any sense of this show.

If anyone mentions how long it's been without rescue, DRINK!

If Sawyer gives someone a snarky nickname, DRINK! Twice if said nickname is longer than addressee's actual name (Doc Holiday, Captain Falafel etc.)

If a reference/allusion to classic literature/film/television is made, DRINK! Twice if it's The Fugitive, it's a film and a television show.

If Sayid uses mad technical skills in a failed rescue attempt, DRINK!

If someone experiences sexual tension, DRINK! Twice if said sexual tension is homosexual and/or incestuous.

If Charlie mentions DriveShaft, DRINK! Twice if addressee if impressed.

If Michael demonstrates poor parenting skills, DRINK!

If another survivor brings a problem to Jack's attention, DRINK!

If someone hears a noise in the fuselage/jungle/bushes and calls out "Vincent?", DRINK! Twice if said noise is clearly not dog-related.

If Shannon refuses to do something helpful/constructive, DRINK!

If Hurley says "Dude", DRINK!

If a new character obviously named for a philosopher is introduced (John Locke, Rousseau) DRINK!

If a fight breaks out over something trivial (Claire's diary, Shannon's inhalers etc) DRINK! Twice if said fight involves Sawyer.

Show cuts to commerial or ends after a massive character revelation (think Criminal!Kate, Wheelchair!Locke, English!Sun) DRINK!

If Kate and Sawyer rumble and accidentally end up on top of each other, DRINK!

If Sawyer doesn't put his shirt on, DRINK!

If Kate goes an entire episode without looking sad and/or pensive, CHUG!

If one of the extras says to Michael, "Hey, you look like the guy in The Matrix!", CHUG! Same with Charlie and Lord of the Rings, Jack and Party of Five, Locke and The X-Files.

If the series turns out to be someone's dream, a la David Lynch, DRINK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE AND THROW AT TELEVISION SCREEN!

I heart Vincent - that dog is the glue that holds LOST together.

Brian McKnight (or someone similar, I'm not sure) is performing on Jay Leno. He sang "I don't give a damn what my homies say." That is a pitiful, pitiful lyric. Thank God it's only 4 minutes to Conan. Added four minutes later. Damn. Paris Hilton is Conan's guest tonight. Nevermind.