"If You're Looking For Me, You'd Better Check Under The Sea." - 2004-10-06 12:47 a.m.

Dear Adult Swim:
Why have you changed the captain of the lab on Sealab 2021? I adored Captain Murphy. He was beautifully retarded. I despise the new guy. He is retarded, but not in the good way. I hate you!
Love, Amanda.

Dear Orthodontist:
After you removed my braces, I wore my retainer nearly a year longer than you recommended. Almost 3 years! Now, 6 years post-braces, my teeth are becoming ugly and crooked. They shame me. What kind of fucked-up brace job did you give me? Give my parents their money back! I hate you, Dr. I-don't-remember-your-name!
Love, Amanda.

Dear Hollywood Stock Exchange:
Please stop being addictively fun. This is my last semester, and I really, really need to prepare for the boards. Stop making me play when I should be studying! If you continue in these fun ways, I'll be forced to work in retail forever. I hate you!
Love, Amanda.

Gimme Gimme Gimme - 2004-10-03 11:59 p.m.

I can't sleep. Buy me this, please.

I Am So Lost! - 2004-10-03 10:19 p.m.

I wore a low-cut shirt with a push-up bra to work today. While leaning over the counter, part of me fell out my shirt. Oopsie.

I'm generally not a fan of the cookie-cutter crap on television these days. This fall, one show has changed that - Lost. Lost, you rock my world! And apparently many other worlds, as well. On the show's message boards, people have posted their own interesting-but-retarded explanations of the inevitable plot twist, ranging from "It's a remake of Land of the Lost" to "They died in the plane crash, and are now in Hell" to "It's all Jack's dream about patients he's lost on the operating table." Everyone seems to be missing the point of the show - Dominic Monaghan is sexy.

P.S. I'm pretty sure the Korean guy is trying to poison the other survivors. He's also incredibly disrespectful to his wife. I hate him so much!

Dammit. - 2004-10-01 5:42 a.m.

It's 5:42 am.

I have yet to fall asleep for the evening.

Dammit.

Kidneys Can Go Fuck Themselves. - 2004-09-28 4:40 p.m.

The kidneys really suck. I am consistenly failing the renal portion of my practice boards. If I don't get those damn kidneys in shape, I'll have to drive a beat-up car for the rest of my life. Who wants that?

My new obsession this week consists of talking to and emailing people (well, just one person really) who don't (doesn't) like me. Either I believe you can change someone (which you can't), or enjoy setting myself up for the inevitable let-down. I am not cool.

My mother had a possible MI this weekend. I realize this should have been the most urgent and important portion of the entry, but I'm still digesting my thoughts/feelings. Maybe later.

I am jealous of everyone who has seen A Dirty Shame and Shaun of the Dead. As you can tell, I have excellent taste in films.

In closing, a patient vomited her feces on my scrubs a few days ago. Lovely.

"I'd like you to meet our son, Simeon." - 2004-09-09 10:43 p.m.

Why are new parents these days so damned insistent on giving their children terrible names with misshapen spellings? I checked out the new arrivals page at the local hospital's website, and here's a random sample:

Jettie... Briley... Declan... Cadence... Willima... Jadelyne... JaLeigh... Braidon AND Braydon... Gracen... Kayonna... Orake... Bobby (not Robert... Tori (not Victoria)... Destyni... Laikyn... Ean... Simeon (how can you NOT notice the similarity between 'Simeon' and 'simian', as in 'monkey-like'?!)... Malaki... Nevaeh... Koapaka... Jaxon... and my favorite, Davinitie.

(Just so you know, my hometown is extremely lacking in the minority department, so the majority of those are white babies.)

Future parents of the world, there are only so many creative ways to spell Kayla and Mackenzie. Give it up.

Down With Feet. - 2004-09-07 11:38 a.m.

I hate feet. I hate the way they look, the way they smell, the way they feel. Less than an hour after showering, while the rest of your body is still clean and fresh, feet are already sweaty and funky. Feet can all go to hell.

Overseas Or Bust - 2004-09-05 11:23 p.m.

1) Guess what I've been with my spare time! Studying for my upcoming Nursing Boards? NO! Watching The Surreal Life. If I don't throw my television out my window, I'll never finish the semester.

2) At the county fair this weekend, a grizzled gentleman spied my Kerry/Edwards badge. He told my mother (in her Bush badge, of course) that he'd "pray for her, because she must not be a Christian." And do you know what that Republican mother of mine did? She defended me! Yay!

3) Did you know American nurses working overseas get paid a crapload? I didn't, until today! I was planning on moving downstate next year, but I've always wanted to be an expatriot. According to the internet (it's never wrong), New Zealand is in dire need of mental health nurses and central London has a shortage of scrub nurses. That could mean relocation and a salary for me!

ITEOFWAWKIAIFF (or, It's The End Of The World As We Know It And I Feel Fine.) - 2004-07-27 11:19 p.m.

The world is officially ending. I see the horsemen approaching.

There's a soon to be released film entitled Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. It's about two guys. Trying to get to White Castle.

I rest my case.

The Top Eleven - 2004-07-27 10:42 p.m.

Daizymaizy's Top Eleven List of Celebrity Crushes:

11) Colin Firth

10) Orlando Bloom

9) Vin Diesel

8) Dominic Monaghan

7) Ewan Macgregor

6) Eric Bana

5) Hugh Jackman

4) Johnny Depp

3) Trey Parker

2) Elijah Wood

...drumroll please...

1) Lance Bass!!